Touch Me. I Might Touch You Back. 

Professionally, of course.
This level of skill takes years to attain. People worldwide are reaching out, and I possess only two hands. Both are frequently occupied with important bottle work.
I therefore accept only the most worthy requests. Tell me what you need, why it matters, and what makes your particular inconvenience deserving of Fredrick.
If selected, you will hear from me. If not, please use this time to become a stronger candidate.